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Polish Jokes

Wicked Jokes about the Polish!

In countries like Germany and the USA it is fair to say that many jokes are told about Poles. Most of them are rather cruel. They are meant to be amusing and we only include them here as a reference and to illustrate the sort of jokes about the Polish that are already out there. We haven't made them up, and don't go along with the thinking! They're not meant to offend, but to acknowledge their existence and maybe entertain. And before you send us an email complaining about this representative selection of Polish jokes, please remember we are Polish!

Polish Joke # 1 - Two Poles are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the nails away. He replies, "Those ones were pointed on the wrong end." His Polish friend gets exasperated and says "You idiot, those are for the other side of the house!"

Polish Joke # 2 - Two Poles emigrated to America. On their first day in New York City, they spotted a hot dog vendor in the street. "Do they eat dogs in America?" one asked the other. "I dunno." "Well, we're going to live here, so we might as well learn to do as they do." So they each bought a hot dog wrapped up and sat down to eat them on a nearby park bench. One Pole looked at his hot dog, then over at the other Pole and asked, "What part did you get?"

Polish Joke # 3 - These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing on a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?" The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

Polish Joke # 4 - Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died? Five sailors died digging his grave.

Polish Joke # 6 - Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski" ? A: Because they can't spell toboggan.

Polish Joke # 7 - A Polish worker is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road. Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was. The Pole replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."

Polish Joke # 8 - Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Coke bottle in Poland? A: Open other end.

Polish Joke # 9 -  Q: How do you break a Pole's finger? A: Hit him on the nose.

Polish Joke # 10 - Two Poles are talking about their friend who immigrated to America. "Did you hear about Bartek? He opened up a jewellery store after just one year in America!" "How did he do that?" "With a crowbar."




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